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More information on Reflective Listening Click to view and hear Ray's commentary on reflective listening skills |  |
 | Assists to defuse emotions Provides insight into the beliefs and thinking behind incidents Allows the teacher to remain detached from the emotions and focused on the issue Provides a plan or structure to follow Essential in times of stress and conflict |
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Start with an open question – What happened? Stay in tune with the emotions not the words and expressions being said. Do not worry about agreeing or reinforcing the viewpoint of the other person. Your time will come once emotions are de-escalated. It usually takes at least 3 reflections before emotional levels subside. When responding use the emotion as the key to your comment eg. "So you get really annoyed when the teacher calls you out and other people are talking too?" Remain detached from the person and attuned to the issue at hand. |
Once the emotions have cooled and some rationality has returned it is time to move into an Influential summary . . . .
| Aims to bring the issue around to the point at which a resolution can be discussed. Allows the other person to affirm that the issue has been identified. Provides the starting point for the teaching of behaviour management skills |
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Takes an understanding of the emotions drawn out from reflective listening and adds your insight into what contributes to the issue/conflict Involves reading the emotions that have surfaced through the reflective listening and interpreting these against the basic human needs and goals of behaviour driving our actions Involves the use of intuition more than intellect Gets a YES as an affirmation that the issue has been identified |